Share social media passwords with your partner? Keys to a healthy relationship

Nowadays it is increasingly common for couples, especially younger ones, to exchange the passwords of their social networks as an act of “trust”. However, in many cases, this exchange is carried out under pressure and against the will of one of the members, in order to monitor or control the couple.

Francesca Origgi, clinical psychologist, commented in a talk for the program On that this type of behavior has become “supernormalized” in today’s relationships. Although some see it as a sign of trust and loveOriggi warns that it can actually create more problems than solutions.

According to the psychologist, in a time where social networks expose relationships more, the feeling of vulnerability grows, leading people to believe that accessing each other’s accounts will give them the necessary control to avoid possible infidelities.

However, Origgi emphasizes: “If someone wants to be unfaithful, they will do it with or without keys.” Therefore, the idea of ​​having control of your partner’s social networks does not guarantee their fidelity or ensure the stability of the relationship. On the contrary, this control can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts that would not have arisen otherwise.

The roots of mistrust

There are various reasons why a person may feel the need to ask for their partner’s passwords. Among them, bad experiences in previous relationships stand out, which leave deep emotional marks, or behavioral changes within the current relationship that generate suspicion. These warning signs can cause insecurity to grow and, with it, the desire to control the couple’s life.

“If you have lived a infidelity in the past, that hurt may make you feel like you need to control your partner’s privacy,” explains Origgi. This behavior is usually a sign that the person has not yet healed emotionally or is not ready to commit to a new relationship. Furthermore, the lack of communication within the relationship can increase that feeling of insecurity and lead to impulsive decisions such as checking the partner’s cell phone.

When the relationship is not going through its best moment, the temptation to spy on phone From the other it may seem like a solution, but it usually has the opposite effect. Instead of resolving tensions, this behavior aggravates the conflict, further damaging trust.

The destructive effect of control

The psychologist highlights the irony behind this type of controlsince, although the objective of asking for keys is usually to improve the relationship and ensure its stability, the result is usually the opposite. Instead of building trust, this act tends to sow mistrust, generating an atmosphere of tension that ends up affecting the relationship.

A clear example is when reviewing old messages, from a stage prior to the current relationship, which can generate discomfort or anger. Although these messages have no relevance in the present, they can trigger unnecessary discussions. This need to monitor every interaction not only emotionally drains the controller, but also places the relationship in a constant cycle of suspicion.

This dynamic of distrust creates a distance between the members of the couple, making sincere and genuine communication difficult. Instead of strengthening the bond, it weakens it, transforming what should be a space of love into one of surveillance and tension.

Find the balance between trust and autonomy

The biggest challenge in relationships, according to Francesca Origgi, is finding a healthy balance between trust and autonomy. This balance, as he explains, is deeply linked to personal security. “When you feel confident in yourself, it is easier trust your partner without needing to control every aspect of their life,” says Origgi. Trust is not based on control, but on the emotional security that is mutually built.

Origgi also highlights the importance of establishing clear agreements in the relationship. These agreements, which she calls “codes”they allow both parties to know what they are willing to give up without compromising their emotional well-being. It’s not about sharing passwords or monitoring each other, but rather creating a space of mutual respect and understanding.

Finally, Origgi emphasizes that these agreements must arise from an open and sincere conversation, where both members of the couple express their needs and limits. The objective is not to restrict the freedom of the other, but to build a relationship based on mutual respectwhere each person retains their autonomy and the relationship is not affected by insecurities or unrealistic expectations.